Sunday, March 22, 2015

A New Sensible Bill of Rights!


We the sensible people of the United States, in an attempt to  help everyone get along, restore some semblance of  justice, avoid more riots, keep our nation safe,  promote positive behavior, and secure the blessings of debt-free liberty to ourselves and our  great-great-great-grandchildren, hereby try one more  time to ordain and establish some common sense  guidelines for the terminally whiny, guilt ridden, delusional. We hold these truths to be self evident:  that a whole lot of people are confused by the Bill of  Rights and are so dim they require a Bill of  NON-Rights.'
ARTICLE I:
You do not  have the right to a new car, big screen TV, or any  other form of wealth. More power to you if you can  legally acquire them, but no one is guaranteeing  anything.
ARTICLE II:
You do not have  the right to never be offended. This country is based  on freedom, and that means freedom for everyone -- not  just you! You may leave the room, turn the channel,  express a different opinion, etc.; but the world is  full of dummies, and probably always will  be.
ARTICLE III:
You do not have the  right to be free from harm. If you stick a screwdriver  in your eye, learn to be more careful; do not expect  the tool manufacturer to make you and all your  relatives independently wealthy.
ARTICLE  IV:
You do not have the right to free food and  housing. Americans are the most charitable people to  be found, and will gladly help anyone in need, but we  are quickly growing weary of subsidizing generation  after generation of professional couch potatoes who  achieve nothing more than the creation of another  generation of professional couch  potatoes.
ARTICLE V:
You do not have the  right to free health care. That would be nice, but  from the looks of public housing, we're just not  interested in public health care.
ARTICLE  VI:
You do not have the right to physically harm other people. If you kidnap, rape, intentionally maim, or kill someone, don't be surprised if the rest  of us want to see you get the blue juice.

ARTICLE  VII:
You do not have the right to the  possessions of others. If you rob, cheat, or coerce  away the goods or services of other citizens, don't be  surprised if the rest of us get together and lock you  away in a place where you still won't have the right  to a big screen color TV or a life of  leisure.
ARTICLE VIII:
You do not have  the right to a job. All of us sure want you to have a  job, and will gladly help you along in hard times, but  we expect you to take advantage of the opportunities  of education and vocational training laid before you  to make yourself useful.
ARTICLE IX:
You  do not have the right to happiness. Being an American means that you have the right to PURSUE happiness, which by the way, is a lot easier if you are  unencumbered by an over abundance of idiotic laws  created by those of you who were confused by the Bill  of Rights.
ARTICLE X:
This is an English  speaking country. We don't care where you came from,   and 
Lastly
ARTICLE  XI:
You do not have the right to change our  country's history or heritage. This country was  founded on the belief in one true God. And yet, you  are given the freedom to believe in any religion, any  faith, or no faith at all; with no fear of  persecution. The phrase IN GOD WE TRUST is part of our  heritage and history, sorry if you are uncomfortable with it.

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